Karaoke

Have you ever gotten up participated in Karaoke?

I can carry a tune. I can sing harmony.   I have actually been a member of a band and several singing groups.  I started singing in church when I was around 14.  Did some talent shows and even sang at a wedding once.

I am not afraid of a microphone.  I am not afraid of a stage.  I am not afraid of people.
But I will NOT do Karaoke.
I did it once.
Once.

My BFF and I were in Mexico and I decided I was going to get up and entertain  guests that gathered in this open-aired concrete theatre.  I have need to disclose that there may or may not have been some alcohol involved prior to this decision.  For my own dignity and defence, I will say YES--that is the only explanation for what followed

Song:  I chose "Rose Garden" by Lynn Anderson.  And truly, I beg your pardon because it was not rosy at all. 

Yes, there is a video. And that, dear reader, is the source of my lifelong humility.  My singing? Perfectly adequate. Pleasant, even.  On key and very expressive. I was selling it.

But for reasons known only to my overly confident past self and probably Jose' Cuervo, I decided the performance required choreography. During an instrumental break, I boldly announced "This is the dance break"--I did some moves that I saw once on The Three Stooges.  And because I apparently thought I was on tour, I shouted "let me hear you, Oklahoma!"  We had met two people from Oklahoma. TWO.  They did not, in fact, respond.  (come to think of it, we may have never seen them again during our stay)

When my friends hear this story, they ask if I still have the video.  Yes, it is on my phone but only three people have ever seen it and that is three people too many.  What I will show them instead, is a video of me and my BFF WATCHING the video.  That video is just as entertaining and will make you laugh, as you watch us laughing hysterically, gasping for breath,

Is there an amount of money that would prompt me to post the original video for all the world to, see?  Well, yes, probably.  But if would need to cover relocation expenses, a name change and probably years of counseling.

I will not sing Karaoke again.  I've already begged my pardon once.  I may not promise you a rose garden, but I absolutely promise you, there will never be another dance break.