Unwanted Emails

This morning I noticed a trend within my in-box. The email titles were very disturbing.

• Compression Knee Sleeves
• Solutions for Memory Loss
• AARP
• Hair Loss
• Avoid Dementia
• Bone on Bone
• Walk in Bathtubs
• Diet Solutions

I'm not sure which one is the most offensive. 
My knees are just fine (they may click a little but they are just fine) and I think that also addresses the Bone on Bone.

AARP-I have been a member since 2013 (age 50)

Hair loss:  you are wasting your time.  My hair is fine, yes fine in texture but FINE none the less.

Diet solutions:  HOW RUDE! While I am pretty much on a diet 50 weeks out of the year, I do not need some random email telling me how I should do it.  I like my diets to include wine, Ruffles and peanut butter.  I have yet to get THAT diet solution.  So back off.

Avoid Dementia:  while I am always afraid of this happening, I try and do puzzles and games on my iPad that will keep this disease at bay.  And while I often have the "what did I come in here for?" thoughts, I do have a pretty good memory.  Of course, I remember things that do not really matter.

Here are some facts that YOU may not know or remember-but I do:  Florence Bush was the casts' hairdresser on Leave It to Beaver.  Rob and Laura Petrie lived at 148 Bonnie Meadow Road.  Miss Landers was Beaver Cleaver's teach and Mrs. Rayborn was the principal.  I even remember the poem I recited at my kindergarten graduation!  My memory is fine.

Walk in Bathtub:  while this sounds very convenient, they are expensive.  Any ad that says $500 off means the price is at least 10 figures. Plus, everyone in the ads are OLD and have gray hair.  My hair is not gray, as far as you know. 

OK.  I have said my peace.  I do not want some strange company sending me these disturbing emails reminding me of growing old.   Now I need to run to the drug store to get some Icy Hot and Advil.  If I could just find my keys..........